Thursday, March 31, 2011

selective blindness

Was cracking my head trying to figure out what to blog about .. Then I remembered a comment someone made about a previous post ; "no keys or buttons" ... The person said "Ada might not have known about Ayo's shortcomings until after marriage" .. This comment inspired this post ...

This is not for the spontaneous young couples that fall in love at first sight and get married a month after meeting ... No; for those spontaneous couples, when u get married to the "angel" u don't know, don't complain when he/she hits u or womanises or she can't cook or is a bad homemaker .. No, u have no right to complain ... Ur whirlwind romance has transformed into a hurricane and u r the one to blame so take a seat \_ kuz "u don enter am"

This post Is for those who take the time to know their partners before getting married . Spend months dating and courting eachother ... The courtship period cannot be over emphasised .. Would u go to a furniture store, see a nice looking glass chair and purchase it without sitting on it or testing it in some way ?? Or would u buy a pair of shoes without examining 'em properly .. God knows I know no girl that wld buy a pair of heels without wearing and walking in 'em for atleast 5 minutes before buying 'em

If u can test ur shoes , how much more the person u want to spend the rest of your life with or the person you want to get into a serious relationship with ?

(Metaphor time) I hate wearing heels .. They are instruments of torture that I can gladly do without .. Anyhu, i have a pair of black high heels ..nd I have never worn them out ..NEVER ! EVER ! .. This is where "selective blindness" comes in .. When I wanted to buy the heels , I was in dire need of black heels .. I wore them .. They were my size and I loved how they looked on my feet but they just weren't perfectly comfortable .. Despite the lack of comfort, I bought 'em .. I saw the problem and chose to over look it and now I'm going to end up giving my heels out without ever getting to wear 'em .. THIS is selective blindness

Let's be honest with ourselves ..if u court someone for over a year , even if the person doesn't put his / her shortcomings / vices on display, you will see tiny , subtle hints .. We are the ones who choose to overlook the problems and end up suffering for it .. Unless the person is like a reaLlllllllly good actor in which case all I can tell u is sorry and get a divorce or break up .

The long and short of this is, if I hadn't been selectively blind, who knows, I cld have gotten a dress or sandals that I wld have actually worn .. Don't end up with someone whoz vices u can't put up with .. Leave 'em now and u myt find someone u'll be glad u've got both eyes to see (this is meant to be deeper than it sounds :o( ) ...

Anyone with comments and views shld make 'em known .. Thank you


  1. Selective blindness with couples is a delicate issue...i think talking bout it will result in a serious round-table discussion

  2. Hm. You know, this also tempers with that saying, "Love is blind." When people fall in love, it's actually quite hard to pinpoint all this until the latter part of the relationship. People tend to change as time goes on. Just as shoes get worn out, so do people in most cases. You can court alright, but when it gets deeper, things happen to change. And all these changes make us regret and we start thinking and that leads to a different ball game all together.

    I've had a lot of relationships. The good, the bad, the ugly. Most prolly seen it all. And it hurts to wake up oneday to realize that, the person that love or care about so much, has had a change of mind. And doesn't appreciate you like he/she did before. We are blinded by love. It makes us stupid, it makes us do crazy things that we won't do normally.

    It's such a touchy subject. But then, we learn, and we correct and we try again. Such is life and all these things make me question myself and I start to wonder if I'll really marry oneday. But until then, I guess I'll keep on trying and hopefully, oneday, that person, will come to stay, despite all my flaws.

    Great post Nike :)

  3. Aww Jermaine ..u r actually quite right .. Love is very blind time goes on, people change and that's when we sometimes see what we missed at the beginning *sigh* .. Thanx for ur comment :o*

  4. metaphor time "i have bot tons of shoes without trying them and whenevr i wear them out, i always have my backup flats"


    its never easy sha, to c someone u love become someone else

    loved d post

  5. IcouldbeillskillzApril 1, 2011 at 12:46 AM

    What if you order the shoes?

  6. First and most importantly, what size are the black heels? :D
    But really, the signs are always there. A shove when he's mad, her smart mouth which u thought was adorable...
    Selective Blindness is a very delicate subject, and God forbid you try to open d eyes of d blind one. You would b said to be pouring "san san inside her/his garri"

    Every blessed day (I kid u not) I find out about a friend, colleague, family member who is in a bad relationship. Its pathetic really, but all u can do is hope and pray that the blindness "will be rolled away"

    Nice comment @ Jermaine

  7. @NoVa ..lool u r a true bad guy ... I know right .. Its a very painful thing *sigh* love can suck donkey balls sha :ol .. Thanx love

    @Skillz *whispers*"I know its u :op ... If u order the shoe ..hmmn ..u have to read the catalogue thorough to make sure its the kind of shoe u want ..and if it turns out to be different. Frm what the catalogue says then ... Sorry x_o

  8. @candyTee oshey !!!! Precisely ,most of the signs are there .. If she rushes at u to shake u till ur weave falls out during a small argument, best believe he will hit u when its a serious one.. It really is a delicate subject but we end up hurting ourselves when we overlook these things because we are "in love"... Thank u for the post Tobi :o*

  9. Hahahahaha this is so true. It def goes along d lines of love is blind.but wat av found out is most ppl actualy turn d oda way 2sum bad traits in d initial "lovey duvey stage" so it becomes an issue later.

    Its d lil thinz people ovalook dat end up bein crazy,d dude dat calls u all d tym n always wantin2knw wat ur doin hu ends up bein d possesiv maniac dude n ur wondrin wat happend *yimu* or d gal hu always wants all ur tym n attention hu ends up as sum paranoid stalka chik.n @1 point or anoda ur wondrin wen did dis happen . Smh

    Not even goin in2d violenc its crazy if derz sumfin u don't lik dat dis so called significant other dos u kan b assured that eida u get it2stop or its gona get this is a #fact

    But the flipsyd is wat o d ppls hu jst mak a shokin u-turn n change from hu they used 2b n 1day ur left standin holdin d miniscule fragments of ur heart .oh well u win some n loose sum 2

    I dnt think derz a lokd down scienc on this yh,bt u kan onli hope n pray dat ur not with sum grammy winning actor/actress n hope 4 d best

    #gbam @candytee
    @jermaine tru dat.we liv n we learn
    @skillz well u send d bloddy shoes bak nah abi