Saturday, April 9, 2011

Dictation

Just as I was about to give up on blogging today for lack of what to blog about, a thought came to me .. So today I'll be blogging about what we take into consideration when making huge decisions in our lives ..

As an 18 year old (yes dastrite I'm 18), I havnt had to make a lot of huge decisions ;atleast not by myself .. My parents have always been there to advise me ( thank God cause I'm pretty sure my life would be in shambles if I were to have been the one making the decisions) . At some point in time we have to make decisions .. I'm not talking about "do I want Chicken or Turkey" or "should I buy this curly weave or this wavy one" ... (Or my most recent dillema) "should I do centre parting or side parting" .. (S/o to everyone that helped me decide) No ..I'm talking about the big ones ; the ones that'll leave their marks on you for the rest of your life.


We all read all the advice columns in newspapers and magazines : " Dear aunty Vero, I am a 24 year old lady and I do not know whether I should marry my high school sweet heart that is still struggling financially or this new rich guy I met that pampers me and also makes me happy " .. And then Aunty Vero starts talking about many things , not directly answering the question .. She basically says do what makes u happy .. No one should decide for u .. Blah blah blah

But is this really the reality of the situation ? Do we really make decisions based solely on our happiness and feelings ? What factors really dictate what steps in life we take ? .. Societal norms , culture , logic and then personal happiness (let me know if I left anything out) ..

Sometimes we make decisions and then blame our (temporary) unhappiness on the fact that ur decision wasn't really based on ur feelings ... Truth be told, in the long run we'll probably be glad the decision wasn't made based on our feelings at the time ... Personally , I would NEVER have chosen to study law if the decision was based on my feelings. ..I certainly won't have willingly opted to stress myself so much when I cld have chosen to do something easier .. Right now, I'm at the "why did I do this to myself" stage ..but I'm pretty sure in the long run , I'll be very glad that this is the path I chose.

If we all based decisions solely on feelings, the world would be in utter chaos , no one would get anything done. Don't lie, you probably think you are the worst procrastinator ever ; there could be an "I'm the biggest procrastinator ever" competition and everyone would genuinely believe they are entitled to the prize .. Its just human nature .. We want to relax and chill and live in the moment... We only get into action when we know we have to.

I am however not saying fling your feelings out of the window during your decision making process.. They do matter ; but they are not ALL that matter.
So when someone advices you to make an important decision based on what you feel .. Stop and think because your feelings aren't the only item on your " factors-for-decision-making list". The bottom point is let ALL the factors inform your decision making.

Comments, opposing views and agreements should be made known

18 comments:

  1. Feelings definitely are not the only markers in decision making even in serious matters such as love. This is because feelings change, they are as constant as time..when decisions are being made, every factor shd be considered. In the end though, the best decision is deciding to decide!

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  2. What if, you're exceptionally good at something, artistically or whatever it may be, but your parents do not support that and want to mould you into something else?

    I'm currently in that sort of situation. It's, the way I see it, is like an African way of doing things. Each and everyone wants their child to be a banker, lawyer, engineer, doctor and so forth. You know, those big big whatever. I'm not saying that it's not a good idea to have a career choice that relates to getting "money" per say. That kind of perception that African parents have about doing anything other than the above mentioned to me, is rubbish.

    Because, we are not the same. We all have something that's embedded within us. No one knows us better than we do. Our parents certainly don't. Parents are to guide their children, but what they forget, most at times is to also listen to your side of the story and come up with a more structured way of doing things. But no, when it comes to African parents, they insist on certain things. Tell me why, people are still unemployed? If the economy is really in need of all these bankers and what not, why is the economy, not booming? The influx on that side alone, is too much. Everybody is doing the same thing and you have to try 5x as much to gain a decent job around here.

    Most people have other things that they were, if I should say, born with. They are naturally good at doing certain things and if they get the support they deserve, what shows that they can't feed their children?

    Me personally, I'm not really concerned about the money issue. To me, if you're at peace with yourself, you have it all. I like laughing. I like being me, I like seeing people smile, I like to see people happy. I'm a happy person. I hate people that cry always. Cause in life, we have choices. You can choose to be happy, and you choose to be sad. It depends on you. That's how I see it.

    I'm a double major. Business admin & international relations. But I spend half of my time being creative and thinking up stories and what not. That's who I am. That's what I love doing and just because I couldn't pay for my undergaduate degree, I was in a way, forced to do something totally against my will. But, it's not the end of the journey you know. After my undergraduate degree, I'll pursue my masters in Animation and VFX. That's me. That's what makes me happy and I will not trade my happiness for money or anything. To me, it's like trading your child, for money. I cherish it. So I won't trade it.

    That's all me. I don't know if there are others out there like me, but this is all me. And people will have different opinions about his issue, but this is mine and I respect everyone else's, because, we are not the same.

    Ha! I am tired. -___- Nike.. I want dodo :|

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  3. Lool ..I love you for ur comment Jermaine, I also do make-up its what I enjoy doing .. Makes me happy and all that ..but the thing is (thinking from a parent's perspective ) what if what ur talent is, isn't sought after by the time u r ready to use it to make a living? .. Doctors, lawyers, engineers, architects will forever and ever be sought after. Personally , I don't see myself studying anything other than law .. So I'm not complaining but I've come to an understanding with my parents that I'll do whatever I want to do with my life (even if it is selling tomatoes) after I've gotten my Law degree.
    Take this scenario for instance ; footballers make a whoole lot of money and Dayo is a very good football player so he doesn't listen to his parents who want him to study economics and runs off to play for some little team (trying to work his way up) ..and then one day he is involved in an accident and is paralysed .. No degree or anything to fall back on.
    I agree that we should do what makes us happy , but be smart about it .. Ur plan is very wise Jermaine and I'm sure u'll make it .. U'll get Dodo if u come to KNUST to get it :op

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  4. @kevin .. U r right .. That's the problem with deciding based on feelings .. Feelings change .. Thanx for the comment :oD

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  5. Hahahahaha Yeah, I actually thought about that before, you know. That's why I actually took up upon doing a double major. So that I fall back on it whenever anything happens. I sort of look at it like a building. You'll need a firm foundation and I think, my undergraduate degrees are worth it for a great foundation. But I'll still have to work my arse off to catch up with the guys that already have a degree in what I want to master in. And that's what makes me angry.

    But at the long run, no effort is a wasted effort. At least you tried, you know. So that's how I see it. And I will go after it, just invade anything happens which I HIGHLY doubt, I'll fall back on my undergraduate degree and see how far that takes me.

    But, wait. You think designers/animators/film makers will go extinct in some years to come? I doubt that. How will you guys be entertained? Unless, you go to work naked then. We'll turn to the Adam and Eve time of living. Will that ever come to pass again? I doubt. So we're all highly important. You can't screw a nut without bolt.

    Hahahaha! I will come home soon. My first week I'll be in KNUST for my dodo :D I won't forget

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  6. IcouldbeillskillzApril 9, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    Impulse sucks

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  7. I will comment when I no longer feel weirdly in limbo. x_x

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  8. @skillz yes it does (most times) on the long run

    @anonymous I await ur comment

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  9. My situation is totally different,
    I'm in my final year in college; accounting and finance! And yet, I'm not sure of what I want to be in future, how did I even start an accounting degree, from bn a science student in high skl; I'm still yet to find an answer to that,
    All I know is; I'm bad at chemistry, I hate cramming, I love calculations, I see myself in any other field apart 4rm accounting in the future, engineering maybe, or even architecture... But how would I open my big "oponu-ish" mouth and tell my dad "hey dad, you know the money u paid for my accounting degree, well it is a sunk cost *past cost* and I need to start afresh from 1st year in another field" my dad is into the accounting world, and is like a semi model to me, I guess that's y I'm studying acctn... I have a post on this same thing on my blog---> www.wazobiasays.blogspot.com
    Okay.. I've filled the comment box! That shall be all for now :D

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  10. O wow .. Don't know what to say .. you should tell ur dad.. Even if he doesn't let u change course , maybe he can pay for u to get another degree in what you really want or something .. I feel so bad for u :o( *sigh* .. Tell him nd see what he has to say. Goodluck.

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  11. Nice read...
    I can say I made the right decision by reading the post. Rather long comments though, nice still

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  12. Nike, are you sure you are my younger sister ? WISDOM !

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  13. Nike.....iya Nike is very proud of u ooo... keep it up.....

    i enjoyed this...


    love always...

    @Tunji...she's younger (wink)

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  14. Awwww .. Thanx guys .. Tunde :o* ...Tunji ..I'm sure .. and I'm glad I am ... Mummy, thanx for reading :o* ..love you .X

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  15. just wanna thanks u very much for this post.. now i think i know d best way to mek a choose!

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  16. Alright.i'm back..I think that whatever it is we choose to do..whatever it is..make sure u can live with the consequences..but good and bad..so if it is your feelings you want to govern what you do or your logic..just make sure..whatever the result you can live with it..and everyone should get over this parental approval of your career..i'd think we'd worry about that when we were younger but your passion is YOUR own..not your parents..and it's what's going to get you through the long nights of studying and the annoying results sometimes..it's YOUR OWN will power to do well that will get you through it so do you..but wisely.

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  17. U don't think parental approval is necessary ? Well then , whoz going to fund the education u want ?

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  18. What you say makes a great deal of sense. Just 'doing what you feel' would be a recipe for disaster. Incidentally, your post put me in mind of that Simpsons episode where they hold a 'Do What You Feel' festival and everything collapses into chaos, but I digress. You're right to conclude that you should consider all the factors when making a decision. However, the logical decision isn't always the right one. Your post also got me thinking about how we have less choice as we get older. Once you've started out on a path, it's very hard to choose another one. Especially when you consider that your decision won't just impact on yourself. A married man may not be completely happy in his job, but he'll stay there for the greater good of his wife and children. You can only really afford to be selfish when you're young.

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